


Beam Me Up

by justanoutlaw



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Depression, Dragon Egg, Dragon Queen - Freeform, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Grief/Mourning, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Infant Death, Miscarriage, Pregnancy, Therapy, magic pregnancy, still birth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-01
Updated: 2017-09-01
Packaged: 2018-12-22 09:58:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11965035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justanoutlaw/pseuds/justanoutlaw
Summary: When Emma and Maleficent lose their child, they find themselves losing each other as well.





	Beam Me Up

**Author's Note:**

> This is the result of shared headcanons between myself & bauerfanstraten, based on the scene in S6 where Rumple uses a dragon egg that never hatched as an ingredient. Lots of angst. Trigger warning: this story contains infant death.

_In my head I see your baby blues_  
_I hear your voice and I, I break in two and now there's_  
_One of me, with you_  
  
_So when I need you can I send you a sign_  
_I'll burn a candle and turn off the lights_  
_I'll pick a star and watch you shine-P!nk_

Magic is truly a powerful thing. Possibly something even stronger, is true love.

 

Which is how Maleficent ended up laying an egg that contained both her and Emma’s child.

 

It was unplanned, but exciting. Neither had gotten the chance to raise their first children. For one, it was a choice she made for his best chance. For the other, it hadn’t been a choice at all.

 

Their families were thrilled. The relationship between Maleficent and Emma had caused a bit of a shock to them all. The Charmings were supportive of their daughter, but they didn’t quite know their place. They had apologized to both Lily and Maleficent, but knew that an apology would never fix what happened. It had taken time, but things weren’t quite so awkward anymore. Lily took it a little harder. Emma had been her best friend as a child, now she was with her mother.

 

The baby seemed to bring everyone together. Snow seemed to be their biggest cheerleader, wanting to throw them a baby shower and help decorate the nursery. No one could tell if it was pure excitement of getting a second grandchild or the guilt she felt. Probably a mix of both. Henry and Lily got to work making a secret project for the baby.

 

Maleficent read practically every single parenting book there was, while Emma assembled the crib. Soon, all there was left to do was wait.

 

And wait.

 

And wait.

 

At first, Maleficent thought maybe the baby was just a late bloomer. After all, when humans got pregnant, sometimes they went a bit past their due date. But when it had been a week past when she was due to hatch, they began to get worried. One morning, she was shaken awake by Emma.

 

“Mal.” Her voice was cracking. “Mal, wake up.”

Maleficent’s eyes flickered open and she could see the worry filling her wife’s face. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

“The egg’s cold.”

 

Maleficent shot up out of bed and raced to where they had left it, so she could be nice and warm throughout the night. She had charmed the incubator to do so. Yet, when she touched the egg, she felt it too.

 

It was ice cold.

 

Emma didn’t say anything as Maleficent called Regina. She just stared at the egg, thinking of the baby. Her daughter.

 

Lydia.

 

She didn’t know much about baby names, but it had been the one that her and Maleficent could agree on. Simple, classic. It went well with Swan.

 

She could barely hear Regina as she entered the room. Her eyes were solely on the egg as it was examined. Tests were run, books were consulted. Eventually, with her magic, Regina was able to hatch the egg.

 

Snow had once described what Lily’s hatching had been like to Maleficent. She had asked since she hadn’t been there, she wanted to know. She said there was crying and the first thing they saw was her arm. There was no crying, there was only blood. Emma couldn’t bring herself to look. As Maleficent’s knees buckled and tears gathered in her eyes, Emma pulled her into her arms so she didn’t have to either.

 

“I am so sorry,” Regina whispered.

 

It would only be the beginning of such phrases.

 

Maleficent cried for what seemed like an eternity, while Emma was stone cold. She wanted to cry, she knew she was supposed to. Yet, there were no tears. She just felt hollow, like she had her heart ripped out of her chest. Only once had she ever felt a pain so deep and that was when Henry died. It went away the minute she kissed him and those beautiful green eyes opened once again.

 

That wouldn’t happen with this baby.

 

No reunions, no true love kisses. She was gone, before they had even gotten to meet her.

 

Emma held Maleficent, clinging to her as though there was nothing else she could do. Eventually, Maleficent pulled away and carefully picked up one of the swaddling blankets she had purchased. Slowly, she wrapped her daughter up in it and held her for the first and last time. She stroked her tiny cheek and let out a shaky breath. Pressing her lips to her forehead, she waited. Nothing happened. Emma walked closer to her and touched her skin.

 

“We should call someone,” she said. Maleficent looked up at her in shock. “I mean…there’s procedures for this aren’t there? I don’t…this has never…”

“I can call someone to come pick her up, make sure she’s ready for burial,” Regina offered.

“Just…just give me a minute,” Maleficent whispered.

 

No one could argue with that. They stood there, looking down at their baby girl, for a good hour. Eventually, Regina made some calls. The people from the morgue arrived first, separating mothers and child for life.

 

Snow and David arrived not long after that. To Maleficent’s surprise, when Snow hugged her, she didn’t want to let go. There was something comforting about her presence, something she couldn’t quite place. She was the reason why she had lost her first daughter, now there she was after she lost her second. Deep down, she realized it was relief. This time, it wasn’t anything anyone could’ve prevented. It just happened. She had heard of it happening before.

 

She just never thought it would her.

 

David tried to hug his daughter, but she wormed out of it, doing the same with her mother and Regina. Even when Lily and Henry came, she couldn’t bear to look them in the eye. She eventually just climbed back into bed, not knowing what else to say or do.

* * *

The funeral was a small and quiet affair. They released pink and white balloons, Henry read a poem. Emma couldn’t hear any of it, in fact, years later, she probably wouldn’t have remembered. The one thing she did was watching her little brother place a teddy bear at the grave.

 

He was 3-years-old and attending his first funeral.

 

The funeral of his niece.

 

“This is so fucked up,” she mumbled.

 

People sent food, as they always seemed to in grief. Snow and Regina came by to make sure it was being properly stored. Lily did some cleaning and Henry shut the door to the nursery, making sure that they wouldn’t have to see it until they were ready.

 

Nights felt like the worst. They would lay there, side by side, barely saying a word. They hadn’t spoken much since Lydia was born. It wasn’t that they were angry, they just didn’t have a thing to say. They were both her mothers, they were both feeling unimaginable pain.

 

Nothing they said was going to change that.

 

Emma returned to work 1 week later. Maleficent didn’t take it very well. She paced, she wanted to scream. Emma was mourning, she was in mourning. _They_ were in mourning. How could she just go to work as if everything was normal? She wasn’t sure if things would ever be normal again.

 

When Snow stopped by, she tried to give some perspective.

 

“Do you want to know a secret that most people don’t know?” She asked.

Maleficent sipped the tea her “mother-in-law” had prepared her. “Suppose you were never good at keeping those anyway,” she replied.

Snow smiled a bit. “At least you haven’t lost your fire.”

“I’m a dragon. It’s what we do.” She tilted her head. “Go on, your secret.”

“When we were under the curse, the very first one, I got pregnant.”

Maleficent rose an eyebrow. “What?”

“I found out a little after I got out of prison when Regina set me up for “killing” Kathryn,” she explained. “I didn’t really have time to process it. I…I ended up miscarrying. I know it’s not the same, the egg was at full term…”

“It’s still a loss nonetheless.”

 

Snow nodded, chewing on her lip.

 

“Tell me it gets better,” Maleficent whispered. “Tell me this pain will go away.”

“I wish I could. Unfortanately…it’s there. But losing the pain, it would mean forgetting the baby…you don’t want that, do you?”

 

She didn’t. She just wished she could have the best of both worlds, as selfish as it was.

 

At the station, Emma was trying to fill out a report, but she could feel her father staring at her. He had been shocked when she walked into the station. The only peace she had from his watchful eye was when she went to investigate a call.

 

“If you took a picture, it would last longer,” she mused.

David sighed. “Em, what are you doing here?”

“Working.”

“You know what I mean. I told you the station would be fine…”

“I know it is, because I’m here.”

“Emma.”

“I can’t stay in that house anymore.”

“Why not?”

 

Emma looked up from the computer, looking at his annoyingly understanding face. She didn’t want to push her parents away, not after all the progress they had made. Yet, she didn’t want to talk. She just wanted to forget.

 

“I think we’re low on printer paper.”

David sighed. “Emma…”

“I’ll be back.” She threw her purse over her shoulder and walked out the door.

* * *

It was a month before they had sex again.

 

They still hadn’t spoken much, it was as if they were two strangers sharing a home.

 

But Emma was tired of feeling alone, she missed her wife.

 

She _needed_ her wife.

 

They both know they need therapy, not sex. Yet, they do it anyway.

 

When it’s over, Emma laid in her arms, feeling Maleficent stroke her hair as she always did.

 

“I love you,” she whispered.

“I love you too,” Maleficent murmured in return.

Emma was quiet for a minute. “I miss you.”

“I’m right here.”

“No, you’re not.”

“Well it’s not as if you are either.”

 

The words come out before Maleficent could take them out. Once they’re out, there’s no going back.

 

They were both stubborn. It was once a trait they loved about each other, one that drove them together in the first place. They were a power couple of Storybrooke, as much as they hated hearing it.

 

Therapy should’ve been the next move.

 

Instead, it was Emma that made one. Out of the house.

 

 _It’s not a divorce,_ she wrote to Maleficent in her note. _I just need time._

It wasn’t something that Maleficent could even argue. Yet, having Emma leave didn’t help either. It just made her miss her more. She knew she should’ve followed her, begged for her to come back.

 

Instead, she just went back to bed.

 

Snow and David couldn’t get Emma to open up as to why she was moving back in with them. She acted as if nothing happened. They had long since moved out of the loft and their new home had a place for her in it, they just didn’t expect her to use it long term.

 

A few days turned into a few weeks. Winter quietly turned to spring. When Henry realized that his mom was no closer to moving back in with Maleficent, he called Lily. She went to the Charmings, finding her alone.

 

“Do you still love my mom?” She asked, point blank.

Emma’s head snapped up. “Excuse me?”

“My mom, do you love her?”

“That’s a stupid question.”

“Answer it.”

Emma bit her lip. “I love her so much.”

“Then why are you here?”

“Because…because I can’t stand knowing that it’s my fault.”

“Your fault?”

 

Emma explained herself and it broke Lily’s heart. She wasn’t one for tears, but they were pouring down her face by the end of it. She called her mother and insisted that she come by the house. She was gone by the time Maleficent showed up again. She found her wife curled up in the couch, with red bleary eyes. It was then she realized that Emma had cried for the first time since it happened. She settled down beside her.

  
“Lily said we needed to talk.”

Emma sniffled. “I told her it wasn’t necessary.”

“What is going on?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?”

“This is all my fault.”

“Emma…”

“When you hatched that egg, I was fucking scared,” Emma interrupted, looking up at her. “I wasn’t sure if I was ready. I mean, I didn’t think we were going to have kids. I didn’t…I didn’t think I could do it. I was so afraid that I couldn’t hack it and then…”

“Hey,” Maleficent took her hand. “The universe is not punishing you for being afraid.”

“But what if it is?”

“It’s not. Don’t you think I’ve felt this way? It was my job to protect her and I failed her. Just like I failed Lily.”

“Neither of those times were your fault.”

“I still couldn’t prevent it.”

“You didn’t fail them,” Emma whispered.

 

The two sat there, clenching their hands within each other’s.

 

“Will you please come home?” Maleficent asked, softly.

Emma bit her lip. “I don’t think I’m ready. We’re…we’re really messed up right now.”

“Now?”

That got the first genuine smile out both of them since it happened. “You know what I mean. I’ve treated you terribly…”

“I didn’t exactly communicate how I felt.”

“We need to work on us. My mom has been not so subtly slipping me Archie’s card.”

“It’s time to call the cricket.”

* * *

Therapy was no magical fix. Both still hurt, both still weren’t sure how to move forward. How could they when their child was gone?

 

They worked on repairing their relationships with the children they did still have. Lily and Maleficent had more nights out. Emma and Henry were bonding more as well. Sometimes, they’d even have family nights together.

 

Then, Emma started feeling sick. She didn’t think much of it at first. It wasn’t until Snow asked if she had any spare pads, that she realized something had to be up. She hadn’t needed to restock her purse with a stash in quite some time. Not since right before…

 

She had thought it was a miracle when their true love had been enough to get Maleficent pregnant. She didn’t expect that it would do the same for her, ever. She just assumed it was a dragon thing.

 

So, she took a test. Then one more. Then five after that.

 

Maleficent was shocked when she opened the door to find Emma on the other side. “Did I forget a movie night we scheduled?” She knew she hadn’t.  She was secretly hoping it was her coming home.

“I’m pregnant.”

“What?”

“Lightening stroke twice.”

“What are you going to do?”

 

It wasn’t a stupid question. They had just lost a baby not 4 months ago. Emma hadn’t even realized she was pregnant for so long due to everything that was going on. Would the baby even be okay?

 

Would they lose it, just like they lost Lydia?

 

Were they even ready to be parents again?

 

“I can’t lose another child.”

 

She held her breath after saying the words, unsure of what Maleficent would say or do. Would she want the baby too? Would she be ready?

 

A moment later, she’s wrapped up in Maleficent’s embrace.

 

“And so we won’t,” she whispered.

* * *

They made an appointment with a doctor to see Emma right away. She hadn’t gained much weight, but the baby seemed to be right on track, if a bit big for its stage.

 

They didn’t find out the sex. They don’t want anything to be like the first time.

 

They continued to go to therapy, they continued talking.

 

The pain was still there, Emma’s guilt wasn’t melting away. But, they were working on it together.

 

When she couldn’t hide it anymore, they finally told their families. They were all cautiously excited, knowing it wasn’t going to be easy.

 

Henry and Lily donate Lydia’s nursery items to families in need. A new one is built in its place. The one thing they keep is the blanket that Lydia had been wrapped in by Maleficent. It’s folded into their nightstand.

 

Emma moved back in during her 7th month, just weeks before it would be Lydia’s first birthday.

 

Balloons were released once again, Henry read another poem. That time, Maleficent and Emma were holding hands. That time, Emma remembered every word.

 

At the 36-week mark, Emma started beginning experiencing labor pains. She had been too stubborn to start staying home, she said maternity leave could come once the baby was born. David raced her to the hospital, Maleficent arriving not long after.

 

No one said a word about the fears they felt, whether it was Maleficent and Emma in the delivery room or their family who waited in the waiting room.

 

 _We are not losing this baby._ None of them are particularly religious, but it’s almost as if they said it as a prayer, over and over again.

 

Emma clung to Maleficent’s hand as she pushed. The doctor guided her through each one, telling her as the body parts came out. It hurt, maybe even worse than it had with Henry, but that’s not what she focused on.

 

Then there was crying, actual crying.

 

“It’s a girl!” The doctor cried out.

 

Another daughter. Maleficent’s third, their second together.

 

The doctor placed the baby onto her chest and Emma stroked her cheek. The baby’s eyes are as blue as Maleficent’s, she had very light blonde wisps of hair, almost white.

 

The pain, it was still there. However, it was as if the raincloud had lifted for a bit, allowing in some sunshine.

 

Maleficent sent for Lily and Henry first. They can’t wait for Regina, Snow and David to meet her too, but they want them to be first. They gather on either side of Emma’s bed.

 

“She’s so small,” Henry breathed.

“I can’t believe it was her that whole time,” Lily added. “Do you two have a name?”

Maleficent nodded. “We do. Riley.”

“That’s perfect.”

“It means valiant.” She gently took the baby out of Emma’s arms. “Possessing or showing courage or determination.”

 

Riley was valiant. Their marriage had been valiant.

 

“There’s…there’s something we wanted to give you,” Lily said. She nudged Henry, who dug through his messenger bag.

“We um, we made it when you were pregnant with Lydia, well we started to. We didn’t finish it before, well, you know…but we started up again when we find out you were pregnant again.”

 

Henry pulled out a red crocheted baby blanket. Emma and Maleficent’s mouths dropped open in near perfect synch.

 

“We figured that maybe Riley could look after it for Lydia.”

Emma smiled. “That’s a really great idea, kid.”

 

Maleficent unwrapped the blanket that the hospital had provided and instead swaddled her into the one her siblings had made for her. She sat beside Emma and kissed her.

 

Weeks later, the two stood on the beach. Riley was in a sling on Emma’s chest, staring up at her. Maleficent wrapped an arm around Emma’s waist as they looked out onto the waves. It was quiet again, but serene. They had just left an appointment with Archie who said they had made progress.

 

They could still feel the ache in their chest, but they had found peace.

 

Maleficent and Emma knew they couldn’t erase the hurt, they could only embrace it. It was only when they had, that they were able to find each other once again.

 

_The End_


End file.
